My Femdom Relationship

Jack should be home early this afternoon. His only job for today is to wash my car and put gas in it. One of the privileges of being a 'boss lady' is having a man to take care of those things. The Saturday morning 'golf outing' made me wonder if we could truly have a 'fem/dom' marriage. Jack did come home that Saturday afternoon. My words to him were simple, we could end 'this thing' now or he would accept my punishment. Not accepting my punishment meant that he would be out of the house, again.

One of my favorite blogs is 'whatever she says'. In the profile, the writer states that in his opinion most marriages are female led. I agree with this statement. He goes on to say, however, that the difference in his marriage, or a true WLM, is that the guy has acknowledged the wife's authority, and she has formally accepted her role as head of the house.

In the last presidential elections, Jack and I went to vote. On the way out I asked Jack who he voted for. He answered "the way you instructed me to vote, mistress." That earned him a "good boy".

I learned early on that humiliation can be an effective way to keep the male ego under control. It is amazing the power that simple things, like women's underwear has on a man. It is both the act of buying the underwear, and wearing it.

When I discovered that Jack had been paying money to see a dominatrix, it was like my whole world came crashing down. At that moment I didn't want anything to do with him. Aside from the simple idea that he was paying money for sexual services of some kind, it was money that we needed for our family.

For a great many couples the 'fem/dom' relationship never develops beyond a game. If they enjoy it, if it helps them meet their every day needs, there is nothing wrong with this. For many couples there is a need to go beyond the role playing or the game type relationship. For some men, such as Jack, there is deep seeded need to live under the authority a women.

The things that work for my guy may not work for every man. It is true that I do not use a whip on Jack. I know women that do. I have corresponded with a women who uses a wire hanger of soughs on her guy. From what I can gather she will use it once or twice and throw it away. The advantage over a whip is that if someone happens to see the wire, they think nothing of it.

Thank all of you who were kind enough to make comments and ask questions. While the questions pertain to different things, there is one question that repeatably comes to me. If I had not found the panties in the gym bag, or if Jack did not have a relationship with a dominatrix, but simply told me of his need for submission, would I have become his mistress.

One of the mistakes I made with Jack is spending too much time 'watching' him, and too little time 'watching over' him.  When Jack first came back to the house, I set up an elaborate system of controls. I wanted to make sure I knew where Jack was at all times. He was not allowed to leave the house without permission, never at night unless accompanied, and he had no access to money. The accounts; checking, savings, and credit cards were all put in my name.

It is my opinion that women want good things for their men. In this regard a 'fem/dom' marriage is no different than any other. Yes, Jack is a slave, but he is happy and most content as a slave husband. Over the years I have learned when to pull the leash tight, and when to give him more running room. It is a balance, and I am not always right. It is never easy to understand a man. Often times they don't understand them selves. It is natural that men look to their wives for direction and guidance in life.

The other thing most women do not realize is how happy most men are to be owned by a women. It gives them a certain feeling of contentment or satisfaction with life that other men do not have. Last week Jack and I took our dog to a neighborhood pet supply store to purchase a collar. Close to the entrance they had a number of dogs in play pens and cages. The dogs were there for adoption.

Most of you will find this treatment of Jack's day to be very boring. On work days he comes home directly from his job. He usually has a little job, duty, to do around the house. I cook dinner. He cleans up.

As you know I have a couple of girlfriends that read this blog. Like me, they love the comments . Based on the comments from 'her support' and others, one of them suggested that submissiveness was related to a lack of maturity in the modern male.

There is something about locking a man in a cage that brings out the emotions in people. For any women who wants to, or feels the need to establish a true 'fem/dom' marriage, the kennel is a wonderful tool. From my experience with Jack, there are other things that can work almost as well, but nothing has quite the same effect as the kennel.

While I don't think there is any good permanent solution to the solving the male ego issue, there are a lot of tools a dominant wife can use to help control her guy when he is not in a submissive mood.

As I walked out of the coffee shop, I knew it was time to let Jack come home. If you have been reading the blog, you know that we had a difficult, but very frank conversation. While most of the feelings of anger had passed, I still felt a very real sense of hurt and betrayal. At lest by now I did know enough about dominance, submission, and things in between that I could have an intelligent conversation with Jack.

In this part of the blog I would like to talk about the feelings, and the doubts that came out of the visit with Jack in the coffee shop. By this time the anger over him seeing a dominatrix was gone. There was still a hurt in my heart because of the relationship with another women, but I also knew that with God's help, we would find a way to get over that.

I love holidays. Each of them is special in their own way. For Jack and I the 4th is about friends, less about family than Christmas or Easter.

As I walked up to the cafe door where Jack was standing, I noticed his eyes glancing down to my legs. It had been years since I wore a skirt as short as this. It was not what you would call a 'whore' skirt, but it was short. Complimented with the boots, the outfit did get Jack's attention. That is exactly what I wanted it to do.

There are some conversations that you will remember all of your life. There are some events that I will never forget. Finding the panties in Jack's gym bag five years ago was one of those events that will stay with me forever.

It is especially fun to watch men as they react to instructions or guidance form women. Over the weekend I really loved it when my daughter told her guy to help daddy with the dishes. Where did she pick that up from?

It was one of those days I will always remember. It was the last time I walked out of the door of Kimberly's studio. It was a hot, rainy day. Kimberly had one of her submissive males take an umbrella, and walk with me to the car. He had been trained by Kimberly on how to hold an umbrella for a lady; walk just a small half step behind making sure she was always covered. He knew to open the car door, do a curtsy, and not say a word unless spoken to. Kimberly knew how to train men!

This blog has a central message.

 To have an understanding of the couple that Jack and I have evolved into, it is important to understand the impression this unique young woman Kimberly had on me. Some people reading this blog may wonder if Kimberly and I eventually became friends. The answer is no. We are different types of people.

To all of you who have visited my blog, thank you very much. A special 'thank you' to those who were kind enough to leave a comment. It is nice to have positive comments. Since most of the people who follow blogs are men, I doubted that my little blog would get much attention. My writing style is so different than what men appear to like. Also, in this blog, the discussion will focus on relationships and feelings. These are topics which men normally like to stay away from.

It was one of those special days. It was like my wedding day, one of those days I will remember for ever. Jack followed me home from the coffee shop. He was nervous, so was I. We both understood that from that point on our relationship would be very different than it had been in the past. I had doubts. Could I really be the mistress/wife, could I be the dominatrix that my husband needed. In general, I knew what had to be done, but doing it was something else. As we walked into the house I took a deep breath.

For any relationship to work, each of the participants must have some responsibilities. They must have a certain role. In our marriage, Jack and I had a relationship, and in the twenty plus years we had been married those responsibilities were well defined. We didn't need to talk about our mutual roles, because it was just there. We knew how to act with each other. We knew what to expect from each other. It was very comfortable, just like an old shoe.

The guilty pleasure topic (which can be found here) generated more comments than I thought it would. There were also a number of negative comments, and that is fine. Most of the comments were well written, and well thought out. There were a few comments that were over the top.

As the name of this posting implies, I felt somewhat guilty about allowing 'slave boy mike' to serve me. On one level it seamed that he should be serving his wife. On yet another level, I knew that his wife would not understand. On yet another level I felt sorry for this gentlemen just like anyone would for a lost puppy. Still, on yet another level, the thought occurred that it would be fun having an extra servant in and about the house. It was kinda like a guilty pleasure.

Jack and I started our 'fem/dom' marriage after our children were away from home. The kennel, used when Jack came home, lasted until our son came home from college for the first time. There was no way I wanted him to see it in our house. This was something I did not want to share with him or any other family member.