What is the difference between a Mistress and a Dominatrix?
To have an understanding of the couple that Jack and I have evolved into, it is important to understand the impression this unique young woman Kimberly had on me. Some people reading this blog may wonder if Kimberly and I eventually became friends. The answer is no. We are different types of people.
The general impression I had was that this dominatrix thing was just a big game. The truth is that when that first man walked in the door, I did see real fear on his face. When Kimberly used her pointer stick on his personal area he knew she meant business. As part of her initiation, Kimberly had him so completely confused he couldn't understand what she was telling him to do. I learned later that was on purpose. The harder he tried to please her, the more she demanded. Then, toward the end of the visit, when she let him put his head on her lap, Kimberly became the sweet nurturing mistress, she had him in tears. Watching a women demonstrate total control over a man was a new experience for me.
My overall reaction to the sessions in Kimberly's studio was mixed. On one hand I found the sight of a nude man crawling around on his hands and knees to be somewhat revolting. It was certainly degrading. Then I thought of my Jack lowering himself in this fashion. I always wanted a husband that I could respect. How could a woman respect any man that was willing to act this way in front of a women. On the other hand there were aspects of the experience that were somewhat exciting.
Over the coming weeks I went on to visit Kimberly several more times. I began to take a more active part in the sessions. Kimberly liked this because it was good for business. It is important to remember that she is in the business of dominating men. To make money, she has to keep them coming back. For them to come back she has to make it exciting. In that regard adding a second women to the mix made the visit much more spicy.
The best thing that Kimberly did for was to introduce me into a small group of local women that dominated their husbands. These were not professionals in the 'trade'. These were women that ruled their husbands. They were the head of house. Their husbands deferred to them and for the most part gave them complete obedience in their private lives. In public they were very ordinary looking people. Over time I became friends with each of these women. They gave me support when I needed it. They gave me laughter when I felt like crying.
What Kimberly valued most in life was freedom to come and go, and do what she wanted. At the same time she liked the idea of having a slave husband that was kept on a very short leash. She liked the idea of having a man suffer for her, or give up things up to be with her. She loved the idea of the man waiting patiently in the entry way for us to finish lunch. For an hour he gave up his freedom to do what he chose to do because Kimberly desired it. He didn't need to understand why Kimberly required him to stand for such a long amount of time, he only needed to understand that she required it. He gave up something to please her. What bothered me is that she also liked the idea of a man giving up money to be in her presence. This is part of how we differed, and a big part of why we could never really be friends.
As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.
This book contains all my wisdom and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined. I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...
She is a dominatrix. I am a mistress.
She accepts money from men for services. The only man I wish to dominate is my husband of many years. She did take me under her wing, she showed me things that my husband needed, and for that I do thank her. The truth is that I never really got over the idea that she had a relationship with my husband, and used it to extort money from him. I always felt that one of the reasons she spent so much time with me is that she felt guilty for the damage caused to our marriage.By the time Kimberly let me sit in with her that Saturday morning, I had done quite a bit of reading about FemDom.
The general impression I had was that this dominatrix thing was just a big game. The truth is that when that first man walked in the door, I did see real fear on his face. When Kimberly used her pointer stick on his personal area he knew she meant business. As part of her initiation, Kimberly had him so completely confused he couldn't understand what she was telling him to do. I learned later that was on purpose. The harder he tried to please her, the more she demanded. Then, toward the end of the visit, when she let him put his head on her lap, Kimberly became the sweet nurturing mistress, she had him in tears. Watching a women demonstrate total control over a man was a new experience for me.
My overall reaction to the sessions in Kimberly's studio was mixed. On one hand I found the sight of a nude man crawling around on his hands and knees to be somewhat revolting. It was certainly degrading. Then I thought of my Jack lowering himself in this fashion. I always wanted a husband that I could respect. How could a woman respect any man that was willing to act this way in front of a women. On the other hand there were aspects of the experience that were somewhat exciting.
In some ways the idea of being clothed in the same room with a completely naked man was a strange and interesting feeling.
I could look at him, every part of him. He wasn't allowed to lift his face above my shoes. In the world I was raised in, women were taught to please a man. This was the compete opposite. To some extent I enjoyed the feeling of power. The idea that by simply snapping my fingers I could bring an adult man to the floor was interesting. I also enjoyed the respect that these man gave to me. It was always yes ma'am, yes mistress, thank you mistress, may I mistress, and so on. After a while it did start to make a women feel special.Over the coming weeks I went on to visit Kimberly several more times. I began to take a more active part in the sessions. Kimberly liked this because it was good for business. It is important to remember that she is in the business of dominating men. To make money, she has to keep them coming back. For them to come back she has to make it exciting. In that regard adding a second women to the mix made the visit much more spicy.
It was when some of the men started asking if I would be there, I knew it was time to stop.
Also, in a lot of little ways, I was becoming hardened by the experience. At first when a man striped in front of me, I tended to turn my head away. This is a natural reaction for a women. After a few visits, looking at totally nude men had no effect on me. This was not me. This was not the person I wanted to be. For young women who think they want to be a dominatrix or a club dancer to earn easy money, I would tell them to be careful. The experience will change you.The best thing that Kimberly did for was to introduce me into a small group of local women that dominated their husbands. These were not professionals in the 'trade'. These were women that ruled their husbands. They were the head of house. Their husbands deferred to them and for the most part gave them complete obedience in their private lives. In public they were very ordinary looking people. Over time I became friends with each of these women. They gave me support when I needed it. They gave me laughter when I felt like crying.
One of things that did surprise me was that Kimberly had a husband.
How could a women who had all of these relationships with men have a husband. She was accustomed to having naked men in her studio. She often went out to dinner with men. Some of these men were clients that she was taking for an outing. Some of them were just male friends that she liked to 'date' from time to time. She described her husband as a slave husband. He had been one of her earliest clients. He had just going through a divorce. They fell in love with each other. He had a full time job working in a local bank. His pay check went in her checking account. She gave him a small allowance for things he needed to buy. For a brief moment I thought this is the life!!!What Kimberly valued most in life was freedom to come and go, and do what she wanted. At the same time she liked the idea of having a slave husband that was kept on a very short leash. She liked the idea of having a man suffer for her, or give up things up to be with her. She loved the idea of the man waiting patiently in the entry way for us to finish lunch. For an hour he gave up his freedom to do what he chose to do because Kimberly desired it. He didn't need to understand why Kimberly required him to stand for such a long amount of time, he only needed to understand that she required it. He gave up something to please her. What bothered me is that she also liked the idea of a man giving up money to be in her presence. This is part of how we differed, and a big part of why we could never really be friends.
As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.
This book contains all my wisdom and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined. I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...
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