My Femdom Relationship

Most marriages are female led. The difference in a marriage, or a true WLM, is that the guy has acknowledged the wife's authority, and she has formally accepted her role as head of the house.

The first year of our 'fem/dom' marriage was by far the most difficult. On some level Jack wanted to submit, he wanted me to be in charge, but it was a roller coaster of emotions.

One of my favorite blogs is 'whatever she says'. In the profile, the writer states that in his opinion most marriages are female led. I agree with this statement. He goes on to say, however, that the difference in his marriage, or a true WLM, is that the guy has acknowledged the wife's authority, and she has formally accepted her role as head of the house.

In the last presidential elections, Jack and I went to vote. On the way out I asked Jack who he voted for. He answered "the way you instructed me to vote, mistress." That earned him a "good boy".

I learned early on that humiliation can be an effective way to keep the male ego under control. It is amazing the power that simple things, like women's underwear has on a man. It is both the act of buying the underwear, and wearing it.

When I discovered that Jack had been paying money to see a dominatrix, it was like my whole world came crashing down. At that moment I didn't want anything to do with him. Aside from the simple idea that he was paying money for sexual services of some kind, it was money that we needed for our family.

For a great many couples the 'fem/dom' relationship never develops beyond a game. If they enjoy it, if it helps them meet their every day needs, there is nothing wrong with this. For many couples there is a need to go beyond the role playing or the game type relationship. For some men, such as Jack, there is deep seeded need to live under the authority a women.

The things that work for my guy may not work for every man. It is true that I do not use a whip on Jack. I know women that do. I have corresponded with a women who uses a wire hanger of soughs on her guy. From what I can gather she will use it once or twice and throw it away. The advantage over a whip is that if someone happens to see the wire, they think nothing of it.

Thank all of you who were kind enough to make comments and ask questions. While the questions pertain to different things, there is one question that repeatably comes to me. If I had not found the panties in the gym bag, or if Jack did not have a relationship with a dominatrix, but simply told me of his need for submission, would I have become his mistress.

The other thing most women do not realize is how happy most men are to be owned by a women. It gives them a certain feeling of contentment or satisfaction with life that other men do not have. Last week Jack and I took our dog to a neighborhood pet supply store to purchase a collar. Close to the entrance they had a number of dogs in play pens and cages. The dogs were there for adoption.

Most of you will find this treatment of Jack's day to be very boring. On work days he comes home directly from his job. He usually has a little job, duty, to do around the house. I cook dinner. He cleans up.

While I don't think there is any good permanent solution to the solving the male ego issue, there are a lot of tools a dominant wife can use to help control her guy when he is not in a submissive mood.

It is especially fun to watch men as they react to instructions or guidance form women. Over the weekend I really loved it when my daughter told her guy to help daddy with the dishes. Where did she pick that up from?

It was one of those days I will always remember. It was the last time I walked out of the door of Kimberly's studio. It was a hot, rainy day. Kimberly had one of her submissive males take an umbrella, and walk with me to the car. He had been trained by Kimberly on how to hold an umbrella for a lady; walk just a small half step behind making sure she was always covered. He knew to open the car door, do a curtsy, and not say a word unless spoken to. Kimberly knew how to train men!

It was one of those special days. It was like my wedding day, one of those days I will remember for ever. Jack followed me home from the coffee shop. He was nervous, so was I. We both understood that from that point on our relationship would be very different than it had been in the past. I had doubts. Could I really be the mistress/wife, could I be the dominatrix that my husband needed. In general, I knew what had to be done, but doing it was something else. As we walked into the house I took a deep breath.

The guilty pleasure topic (which can be found here) generated more comments than I thought it would. There were also a number of negative comments, and that is fine. Most of the comments were well written, and well thought out. There were a few comments that were over the top.

As the name of this posting implies, I felt somewhat guilty about allowing 'slave boy mike' to serve me. On one level it seamed that he should be serving his wife. On yet another level, I knew that his wife would not understand. On yet another level I felt sorry for this gentlemen just like anyone would for a lost puppy. Still, on yet another level, the thought occurred that it would be fun having an extra servant in and about the house. It was kinda like a guilty pleasure.

This morning I received an email from a lady. She criticised me for referring to my husband as a slave. Words do have power, and convey meaning. To her the term slavery had a barbaric meaning that has no place in a marriage.

While sub men find it humiliating to wear panties, they also find it exciting.  It is not so much the way panties feel on a man, but the way they make a man feel when he is wearing then. In Jack's case they definitely make him feel more submissive. He doesn't know the why of it, he just knows the result.