How To Control A Male When He Doesn't Want To Be Submissive

While I don't think there is any good permanent solution to the solving the male ego issue, there are a lot of tools a dominant wife can use to help control her guy when he is not in a submissive mood.

It is my opinion that women want good things for their men. In this regard a 'fem/dom' marriage is no different than any other. Yes, Jack is a slave, but he is happy and most content as a slave husband. Over the years I have learned when to pull the leash tight, and when to give him more running room. It is a balance, and I am not always right. It is never easy to understand a man. Often times they don't understand them selves. It is natural that men look to their wives for direction and guidance in life.

Earlier in our 'fem/dom' marriage Liz helped me understand that Jack, like any man, needs opportunities for recreation, for activities with other men. 

What are the things that a dominant wife should do to make sure that her guy is content with life? Although Jack is leashed and collared, our relationship is still built on love, and I want him to be happy. This is something that most women want for their man, submissive or not.

I have only lived with one man, but friends tell me the same thing. The idea of a 'house husband' may be fine for a few men, but to be happy most men need to work outside of the house. The average man, submissive or not, has the need to feel like he is supporting his family.

In today's world if if not unusual for the wife to make more money than the husband. 

With one of my friends, this has been a problem. Although submissive, he resents the fact that she makes much more money than he does. I would love to have comments from women on this subject.

In the case mentioned about the wife is a certified public accountant with a large firm and makes relatively good money. Her husband is a carpenter working in residential construction.

To make maters worse he was laid off from work in the beginning of the year. Her first thought was to make him into a house husband, and that worked for a short while, but then he became depressed. They went to counseling, and her husband admitted that while he liked the idea of his wife 'wearing the pants in the family'; he felt that he should be doing more financially.

It may surprise many of you to learn that Jack makes a great deal more money than I do. It may also surprise you to learn that I am happy about that aspect of our life. In spite of having a 'fem/dom' marriage, there are many 'parts' to our marriage that are very traditional. While I work, and do 'ok', Jack is the person that supports our household. The only difference is that Jack's paycheck goes into an account he has no control over. However, in more traditional marriages, most men don't even know where the wife keeps the check book, or how much money is in the bank.

It is my view that men need encouragement as well as guidance. 

Often times men are not as sure of them selves as they need to be. This is true at work, in business, and in the family. Men need to be encouraged. A wife needs to tell her guy that she has confidence in him. She needs to support him in the family, and let him know that she is proud of him. My next post will be a short story form Liz about an interaction she observed while visiting a national park this summer. In that case we talked about the wife's actions and agreed that she was wrong. Anyway, that is the next post.

It is also my view that most men are often more goal orientated than women. 

Not that a women should sacrifice her goals for those of her man, but she should encourage him to 'stay the course', and by her actions give her guy the confidence he needs to fight for what is important for him.

A man needs to have integrity. A man's word should be his bond. When a man kneels at a women's feet, and tells her that she is his world, and that he wants to be her slave, she needs to know that he means it. A weak man, that changes in mind as often as the wind changes, is not worth owning. He is not worth training, or keeping in your house.

A lot of this may not sound like 'fem/dom', but in may ways it is. Almost every day I tell Jack how proud I am of him. The questions was asked to me; ' can a women be proud of a man that lives as her slave'. The answer, from me, is a definite yes. Yes, I am proud of my man. It takes a lot of courage to live the life he leads. Female discipline makes it easier, but it is still hard to live a life according another person's priorities.

As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.

This book contains all my wisdom  and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined.  I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...