Reflections On The Mistress Lifestyle, Part 1

I love to read the various blogs from submissive men that have appeared over the last couple of years. They are all looking for something. For some of them, the idea of submitting to a women is just a fantasy. There are others that really want the life of serving a female head of house.


My husband, Jack, can tell you that the real life aspects of serving a women are a lot different than the visit to a dominatrix, or the fantasy ideal he had before acting out his dreams.
He will admit that there are many Saturday mornings when he just doesn't feel like cleaning the house. There are the times when Mistress goes out with friends, and leaves him to scrub and polish the kitchen floor. Jack also admits that it is often hard to deal with a lifestyle that does not give him any flexibility on money or spending. While I love Jack very much we both know that he does best when kept on a short leash. A short time ago I asked him, if he had a choice, which he doesn't, would he rather go back to our old lifestyle. I was pleased that he answered no. He admitted there were a lot of frustrations about the submissive lifestyle, but it was also something that he needs in order to be happy. He doesn't understand the need to submit anymore now than he did five years ago, but he is happy under the thumb of a strong women.

One of the things that does amuse me about many of the blogs on the web is the attitude of the would be submissive regarding choice, and boundaries, and what control they will allow their mistress to have. One of them said that he wanted his wife to be the boss, but he would not be willing to give up financial freedom. Another little man suggested that he would not allow his wife to discuss their lifestyle with with friends or family. Many others have a type of safe word they can use in certain situations. All of these things make me wonder just how sincere some of these gentlemen are about giving up control.

What I can tell you is that when Jack was allowed back into the house, and I agreed to be his mistress, it was unconditional. 

At time all of our bank accounts were put in my name, and yes, his monthly paycheck started going directly into my account. I would never recommend a man doing this unless he was in a long term relationship with a women that loved him heart and soul.
Also, Jack understood that once we started down the road, he no longer had a choice other than to leave me. He also understood that as a condition for being his Mistress I expected complete obedience from him. There were to be no safe words, or conditions of any kind. As a result Jack has become as much of a slave as a husband over the last few years.

As I write this post today, Jack's greatest fear is that others will learn of our life style. As strange as it seams he still has a male ego that pops out from time to time. The family knows that we have made some type of power exchange, but they have no idea of the degree in which Jack submits to my authority. His sister is one of my best friends, and he knows that we talk a great deal. While I have told Jack that she knows more about us than any other family member, it bothers him that he doesn't know how much she knows. Then, he wonders if she communicated any of this to his macho brother in law. It may be a little mean but I love the idea of holding this little mystery over his head.

The easy questions are the ones we know the answers to before they are asked. 

In my heart I knew that Jack did not want to go back to our old lifestyle. So many times he has knelled at my feet, and thanked me for being his mistress. You can tell when a man is telling the truth, and he meant every word of it. The difficult question was about his dominatrix. Before becoming my slave boy, he had a long term relationship with a dominatrix. For her the relationship was based on money. I know, however, he had feeling for the women.

Every so often I have Jack get down on his knees and lick my shoes clean. It sounds nasty, but submissive men just love this activity. While he had his head down licking, I grabbed a lump of his hair, and asked him if he missed licking the booths of his dominatrix. It caught him by surprise, and he didn't know what to say. I just pushed his head back down and told him if he missed a spot I was going to have him lick his sister's shoes clean next time she came over. After that he did a really good job with his tongue. I was a little hurt that the feeling for this women were still there. If you are afraid of the answers, maybe it is better not to ask the question?

As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.

This book contains all my wisdom  and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined.  I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...