How To Use Humiliation In FemDom: An Important Anecdote

I learned early on that humiliation can be an effective way to keep the male ego under control. It is amazing the power that simple things, like women's underwear has on a man. It is both the act of buying the underwear, and wearing it.

I remember the first time I took Jack to a plus size store, and asked the sales person for help in selecting panties for him. Then, there is always the casual threat of telling your man that if he is not a good boy, you will tell his friends that he wears panties. Just the idea of his friends knowing he wears panties can throw any red blooded male into an immediate panic.

About four years ago, when Jack and I were into our new marriage arrangement for about a year, we went on vacation to New York. 

We were having a good time visiting and rushing from one tourist attraction to another. In the middle of all this, I remembered that I forgot to pack something that I needed. We had to find a drug store. It was not a big deal, but it did interrupt our fun for a little while.

After searching for thirty minutes or so we finally found a drug store. Jack was annoyed by the experience. When entering the store he said something like you should have remembered to pack the 'dam thing'. While I was annoyed with his comment, I let it go. That was a mistake. Since I was not familiar with the store it took me a while to find what I looking for, and the store didn't have the brand that I usually purchased. While I was talking to a sales clerk, Jack got 'huffy'.

To my surprise Jack actually came out and told me to hurry up, it was taking too long. 

Not only did he embarrass me in front of the sales clerk, but it was no way for a submissive husband to speak to his mistress. The moment he said those words he could see my face turning red. We happened to be next to a display of hair ribbons. The type that little girls wear. I spotted a big yellow ribbon, picked it up, and told him to put it in his hair. I did this with the sales clerk looking, and now giggling at his situation. At first he thought I was joking, until he understood that I was very angry. He immediately apologised. I could see the look of panic in his face.

Without flinching, I gave Jack the look that let him know I was serous. I again told him to put it on, Now! He did as told as he always does.

It was afternoon when we were in the store. I made Jack wear the ribbon for the rest of the day, including dinner. Since we were in NY, I felt comfortable that no one we knew would see us.

On some level I was almost embarrassed as he was, but there was no way I could let this behavior go.

As we walked by women on the street, they would sometimes turn their heads and giggle. The guys tended to ignore him, but a couple of them made comments like isn't he cute.

For me the most interesting part of the punishment came when we went to the restaurant. 

It was crowded, we had to wait in the the foyer for several minutes with other tourist.

All the while Jack could see people peeking at him and making little comments to their spouses.

Then we had a cute little hostess take us to the table. She looked, smiled, but did not say anything about the ribbon in Jack's hair.

As we sat down at the table, Jack asked if he might be able to take the ribbon off. I told him, No!, not until we are back at the hotel. For me it was a test of his obedience, as well as a punishment for talking back in the way he did. It was still early in our 'fem/dom' experiment, and I needed to know that Jack would obey me in difficult situations. No one, even Kimberly, had ever put him through this type of public humiliation . It was not planned, it just happened because of the circumstances, as to where we were and his behavior in that store.

As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.

This book contains all my wisdom  and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined.  I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...