My Femdom Relationship

It is my opinion that women want good things for their men. In this regard a 'fem/dom' marriage is no different than any other. Yes, Jack is a slave, but he is happy and most content as a slave husband. Over the years I have learned when to pull the leash tight, and when to give him more running room. It is a balance, and I am not always right. It is never easy to understand a man. Often times they don't understand them selves. It is natural that men look to their wives for direction and guidance in life.

As you know I have a couple of girlfriends that read this blog. Like me, they love the comments . Based on the comments from 'her support' and others, one of them suggested that submissiveness was related to a lack of maturity in the modern male.

There is something about locking a man in a cage that brings out the emotions in people. For any women who wants to, or feels the need to establish a true 'fem/dom' marriage, the kennel is a wonderful tool. From my experience with Jack, there are other things that can work almost as well, but nothing has quite the same effect as the kennel.

While I don't think there is any good permanent solution to the solving the male ego issue, there are a lot of tools a dominant wife can use to help control her guy when he is not in a submissive mood.

As I walked out of the coffee shop, I knew it was time to let Jack come home. If you have been reading the blog, you know that we had a difficult, but very frank conversation. While most of the feelings of anger had passed, I still felt a very real sense of hurt and betrayal. At lest by now I did know enough about dominance, submission, and things in between that I could have an intelligent conversation with Jack.

In this part of the blog I would like to talk about the feelings, and the doubts that came out of the visit with Jack in the coffee shop. By this time the anger over him seeing a dominatrix was gone. There was still a hurt in my heart because of the relationship with another women, but I also knew that with God's help, we would find a way to get over that.

As I walked up to the cafe door where Jack was standing, I noticed his eyes glancing down to my legs. It had been years since I wore a skirt as short as this. It was not what you would call a 'whore' skirt, but it was short. Complimented with the boots, the outfit did get Jack's attention. That is exactly what I wanted it to do.

There are some conversations that you will remember all of your life. There are some events that I will never forget. Finding the panties in Jack's gym bag five years ago was one of those events that will stay with me forever.

It is especially fun to watch men as they react to instructions or guidance form women. Over the weekend I really loved it when my daughter told her guy to help daddy with the dishes. Where did she pick that up from?

It was one of those days I will always remember. It was the last time I walked out of the door of Kimberly's studio. It was a hot, rainy day. Kimberly had one of her submissive males take an umbrella, and walk with me to the car. He had been trained by Kimberly on how to hold an umbrella for a lady; walk just a small half step behind making sure she was always covered. He knew to open the car door, do a curtsy, and not say a word unless spoken to. Kimberly knew how to train men!

This blog has a central message.

 To have an understanding of the couple that Jack and I have evolved into, it is important to understand the impression this unique young woman Kimberly had on me. Some people reading this blog may wonder if Kimberly and I eventually became friends. The answer is no. We are different types of people.

It was one of those special days. It was like my wedding day, one of those days I will remember for ever. Jack followed me home from the coffee shop. He was nervous, so was I. We both understood that from that point on our relationship would be very different than it had been in the past. I had doubts. Could I really be the mistress/wife, could I be the dominatrix that my husband needed. In general, I knew what had to be done, but doing it was something else. As we walked into the house I took a deep breath.

For any relationship to work, each of the participants must have some responsibilities. They must have a certain role. In our marriage, Jack and I had a relationship, and in the twenty plus years we had been married those responsibilities were well defined. We didn't need to talk about our mutual roles, because it was just there. We knew how to act with each other. We knew what to expect from each other. It was very comfortable, just like an old shoe.

The guilty pleasure topic (which can be found here) generated more comments than I thought it would. There were also a number of negative comments, and that is fine. Most of the comments were well written, and well thought out. There were a few comments that were over the top.

As the name of this posting implies, I felt somewhat guilty about allowing 'slave boy mike' to serve me. On one level it seamed that he should be serving his wife. On yet another level, I knew that his wife would not understand. On yet another level I felt sorry for this gentlemen just like anyone would for a lost puppy. Still, on yet another level, the thought occurred that it would be fun having an extra servant in and about the house. It was kinda like a guilty pleasure.

Jack and I started our 'fem/dom' marriage after our children were away from home. The kennel, used when Jack came home, lasted until our son came home from college for the first time. There was no way I wanted him to see it in our house. This was something I did not want to share with him or any other family member.

This morning I received an email from a lady. She criticised me for referring to my husband as a slave. Words do have power, and convey meaning. To her the term slavery had a barbaric meaning that has no place in a marriage.

This is an issue I have given a great deal of thought to, but frankly, don't have the answers. Based on many of comments and emails, I have the feeling that there are a large number of couples that would like to have a true 'fem/dom' marriage. The problem is that the wife is never able to obtain true authority over her husband. The 'fem/dom' arrangement remains a game, an on and off thing depending on every ones mood of the day.

In some ways men seam to want the feeling that the wife is in control, but then they want to be the person pulling the strings. Remember the old expression, he who has the gold makes the rules. I think this is true in a marriage as well as in business.