My Femdom Relationship

I learned early on that humiliation can be an effective way to keep the male ego under control. It is amazing the power that simple things, like women's underwear has on a man. It is both the act of buying the underwear, and wearing it.

When I discovered that Jack had been paying money to see a dominatrix, it was like my whole world came crashing down. At that moment I didn't want anything to do with him. Aside from the simple idea that he was paying money for sexual services of some kind, it was money that we needed for our family.

For a great many couples the 'fem/dom' relationship never develops beyond a game. If they enjoy it, if it helps them meet their every day needs, there is nothing wrong with this. For many couples there is a need to go beyond the role playing or the game type relationship. For some men, such as Jack, there is deep seeded need to live under the authority a women.

The things that work for my guy may not work for every man. It is true that I do not use a whip on Jack. I know women that do. I have corresponded with a women who uses a wire hanger of soughs on her guy. From what I can gather she will use it once or twice and throw it away. The advantage over a whip is that if someone happens to see the wire, they think nothing of it.

Thank all of you who were kind enough to make comments and ask questions. While the questions pertain to different things, there is one question that repeatably comes to me. If I had not found the panties in the gym bag, or if Jack did not have a relationship with a dominatrix, but simply told me of his need for submission, would I have become his mistress.

One of the mistakes I made with Jack is spending too much time 'watching' him, and too little time 'watching over' him.  When Jack first came back to the house, I set up an elaborate system of controls. I wanted to make sure I knew where Jack was at all times. He was not allowed to leave the house without permission, never at night unless accompanied, and he had no access to money. The accounts; checking, savings, and credit cards were all put in my name.

It is my opinion that women want good things for their men. In this regard a 'fem/dom' marriage is no different than any other. Yes, Jack is a slave, but he is happy and most content as a slave husband. Over the years I have learned when to pull the leash tight, and when to give him more running room. It is a balance, and I am not always right. It is never easy to understand a man. Often times they don't understand them selves. It is natural that men look to their wives for direction and guidance in life.