Reflections On The Mistress Lifestyle: How I Learned To Be A Mistress

The drive back from Kimberly's condo took over an hour. I had to cross the long bridge that connects the lake north of the city. Fortunately traffic was light, and I enjoyed the time alone with my thoughts. It was nice to have the time to think about all of the things I saw and heard in the visit. It was like a curtain had been lifted, and all of a sudden, I could see a completely different world that existed next to me, but never knew anything about.

There were so many ideas floating through my head. 

Yes, Jack had been unfaithful as a husband, but did I do anything to encourage him. Certainly, I had no idea that he had this desire to be bossed around by women. According to Kimberly, if a man has that need, he will eventually find a way to act on it. If he can't find it at home, he will look somewhere else. He may not see a dominatrix, but he will find the dirty magazines and the Internet sites that cater to submissive men. I thought to my self, did Jack give me any any signals.

In recent yeas Jack did spend a fair amount of time on the Internet. I never really thought much about what he was looking at. After all, he was an adult, and it was not up to me to police his time. When Kimberly spoke to her servant, she referred to me as Miss Caroline. In the south it is common to refer to an older women as Miss Caroline or Miss Jane or Miss whatever when speaking to a younger person. However, Kimberly was no more than thirty years old, and her 'boy' was old enough to be her father. She always referred to him as a boy, which I thought was a little strange, but then again, what is the appropriate terminology for a very subservient male. It was hard to think of the little guy in panties as a man even though he was over fifty. Then, I wondered how many times had my Jack performed the same service in her studio. I already knew he liked to wear panties, I found them in his gym bag. He also confessed to having fantasies of cross dressing. Was he gay? The entire idea of my husband prancing around Kimberly's studio in ruffles and ribbon's made me sick.

Anyway, it donned on me that just has Kimberly referred to me as Miss Caroline, Jack had been using similar terminology in talking about female friends and women in the neighborhood. 

When talking about women in the third person he had the habit of saying Miss whatever. At the time I didn't think anything of it. Now I knew where he picked up that expression. Also, I realized that over the last few years Jack had started doing a great deal of work around the house. He even started making the beds and changing the sheets once or twice a week. It was not something I asked him to do. He did it on his own, or so I thought.

Kimberly told me that she had different types of clients. There were the guys that needed to be spanked every so often, but did not have the desire to be in a relationship with a dominant women. However, most of her clients were men like my Jack. These were men that desired to be in a full time relationship with a women that controlled them, that bossed them around, that pulled their strings. These were men who were afraid to introduce the concept of female domination to their wives. I guess, according to Kimberly, they were either afraid to broach the subject, or simply thought that their wives wouldn't understand. I thought, yes, I am one of those women who would not understand.

According to Kimberly she gave the relationship guys special assignments. 

The assignment would vary, but often involved doing something special for the wife. This could be like making the beds, or cleaning the bathroom, or any chore that the wife did not like to preform. Also, she encouraged them to bring little gifts home for no special occasion. Yes, you guessed it, Jack had been bringing me romantic little gifts for a couple of years. They were not expensive gifts, and in a way that is what made them special. It might just a flower, or a piece of costume jewelry. I valued the gifts because they showed Jack cared. Yes, I thought that Jack had become so romantic and thoughtful. Little did I know the idea came from a dominatrix.

After spending a few hours with Kimberly, I no longer hated her. Yes, I did hate the things she did to Jack. She did take advantage of his weakness, and it did cost of family a great deal of money.

It was a little bit of a relief when she confirmed that there was never any physical sex involved in their relationship. 

For some reason I did believe her. I kept thinking about the idea that Jack needed something that he couldn't get at home. She said he liked to wear women's clothing. The panties were a part of this. She however, often had him wear a little maid costume when working in her studio. She said he looked cute in it. That was very hard for me to imagine. She told me that not all submissive men liked to put on women's clothing, but that it was fairly common. To some extent it was something that these guys wanted to be forced to do, go figure.

As FemDom mistress, I have received countless emails of people asking me how to begin a successful and long-lasting FemDom relationship. This blog here is an attempt to recount some old stories, but if you want to take your FemDom relationship seriously I recommend that you check out my book, The FemDom Relationship Guide: How Submissive Men and Strong Women Can Have Successful Long-Term Relationships. You can check it out on Amazon or read the post introducing my book, where I describe how I started my FemDom relationship and how it developed.

This book contains all my wisdom  and experiences of > 10 years in a FemDom relationship combined.  I wish I would have had it when my husband suggest we begin FemDom...